5 must-read self-help books for writers that aren’t about writing

There are hundreds of books out there about improving your writing — but if you’re like me, the challenge comes a little before that, in getting yourself to write in the first place. It is strange: Why do I so often resist doing that which I say I really want more time to do?

I have friends who marvel at the fact that I read 100+ books each year, but the main reason I read so much is because it’s my favorite “productive” way of procrastinating on writing. In fact, I read a lot of self-help books, which I used to be kind of embarrassed about but have now just learned to embrace by calling them personal development books.

Here are five fantastic personal development books that are NOT directly about writing — but that nonetheless got me to write more, edit more, submit more, and just generally do more of the writerly things I really do want to do:

creative habit1. The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life by Twyla Tharp.

The title kind of reveals why this book might be relevant to creative writers. Twyla Tharp, dancer and choreographer extraordinaire, argues in this book that creative success comes less out of innate ability than out of hard, consistent work. And in order to do that work, you must set up firm habits — the kind of habits you don’t think about or deviate from.

For example, after a meal, I don’t have a big debate with myself about whether or not I’m going to brush my teeth. I just do it out of habit. The same thing needs to be true about my writing habit. It needs to be something I just go and do every day because that’s just what I always do at that time. If I have to have a big internal debate with myself and “convince” myself to sit down and write every day, it’s much less likely that the writing will happen.

rejection proof
2. Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jing.

I picked up this book after hearing Jia’s interview on The Portfolio Life — and loved it. Basically, this guy decided to get over his fears of rejection by devising creative ways to get rejected (e.g. asking a stranger for $100, asking a Dunkin’ Donuts employee to make him donuts in the shape of Olympic rings — here’s the full list, along with YouTube videos). As strange as his asks were, he pretty quickly started getting a lot of yeses!

In the process, he learned a lot about rejection — and about how to increase the chances of not getting rejected too. The book’s a hilarious and inspiring read. It taught me about how to reduce, manage, and deal with the many inevitable rejections I get as a writer — and it actually encouraged me to live more courageously in general.

The One Thing3. The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan .

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all you feel you need to do to be a writer — and feel that the only way to be a successful writer is to pile more and more on, this book will give you some relief. The authors argue that the key to success isn’t simply squeezing more things onto your to-do list. In fact, they argue the opposite — that you need to pare things down and focus on just ONE thing.

The question to ask yourself is this: What’s the ONE Thing you can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary? (Hint: If you’re a writer, this one thing would be writing) Sound too simple to be helpful? Read the book — It’s pretty convincing. It gave me a lot of clarity and focus I sorely needed.

lifelong activist4. The Lifelong Activist: How to Change the World without Losing Your Way by Hillary Rettig.

This one is a really great time management book disguised as an inspirational book. Hillary’s main argument is that lots of activists burn out and quit doing activist work, primarily due to overwhelm, fear, and, most of all, bad time management skills. Thus, the book is dedicated to helping activists learn to properly manage time, combat procrastination, and address feelings of fear and overwhelm.

If it helps, imagine the title is “The Lifelong Writer,” and while reading, replace the word “activism” with writing. I especially found her advice about ending procrastination helpful. According to her, I should “approach my work with a light touch” so it feels “safe, easy, and fun.” She has a lot of great tips for overcoming psychological hurdles.

you are a badass5. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero.

I picked up this book because Jen and I share the same agent — and I’m glad I did. Not sure yet you have what it takes to pursue your writerly dreams? This book will teach you otherwise — and give you some tools to pursue those dreams too.

It’s a nice mix of law of attraction stuff tied to hard work and action-taking — with a good dose of humor. This book encouraged me to take more risks — to just go for things. I get her occasional emails now and they’re like a pop of motivation in my inbox every time.
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Have you read any of these books yourself? Have more to add to the list? Share your thoughts in the comments.

The Edison Book Club: Bittersweet cocktails over Sweetbitter

Sweetbitter at The Edison Book Club

Sweetbitter at The Edison Book Club

An intimate chat about a fantastic book over specialty drinks in a speakeasy-style bar — with a chance to talk to the author herself about her book. If that description appeals to you, come to a meeting of The Edison Book Club.

The Edison

Last night was the very first book club meeting, featuring Sweetbitter by Stephanie Danler. About fifteen readers (mostly women), pink books in tow, gathered in the basement of The Edison and discussed literature over pretty cocktails. The bar concocted two specifically for the occasion: Bittersweet (fernet branca, kumquat, lemon, salted caramel syrup) and Shift Drink (peroni with a shot of fernet branca).

Stephanie Danler at The Edison Book Club in Los Angeles

Then about an hour in, Stephanie dropped in, gave a short reading, then answered a bunch of questions — ranging from which character she most relates to (Simone more than Tess) to what restaurants she recommends in L.A. (Mapo Galbi is one).

Stephanie said the book really came to her when she got the first sentence: “You will develop a palate.” Because that’s exactly what the 22-year-old narrator does in the novel — develop a palate for “intimacy, relationships, drugs, lust, burgundy, oysters,” Stephanie explained.

The book club is a brand new initiative of literary nonprofit PEN Center USA. Agatha French, a member of PEN, led the discussion.

Sweetbitter

Join the club simply by RSVPing to the events — and you can get a 15% discount on the current book club title at Skylight Books. The next book club meeting will probably happen in October, according to Libby Flores at Pen Center USA — though the next book hasn’t been picked out yet. Stay in the loop by checking The Edison Book Club website or emailing Libby at libby@penusa.org to get on the invite list.

* Last updated 2/27/17

First and third photos by Libby Flores

My Writing Residency at the Anderson Center

Anderson Center welcome card

Why voluntarily spend a month of her summer in a tiny town in the midwest? To write, is the short answer. My month-long writing residency at the Anderson Center at Tower View is coming to a close — so here’s a post about what I did, what I loved, and what I got out of the whole experience.

First, the basics: The Anderson Center hosts five artists and writers at a time in a big, historic house in Red Wing, Minn. I flew in to Minneapolis on July 1, where a nice driver rounded up me and two other residents and whisked us off to the Center. There, I was introduced to my cute little bedroom —

Anderson Center bedroom

— then invited down to a dinner made by Chef Britton of Le Chien Bleu! He made us nice dinners each weeknight, modifying the menu to accommodate everyone’s diets (There was a vegetarian, a pescatarian, and the lactose-intolerant me). Below’s a sample evening menu:

Meal at the Anderson Center

He also brought us groceries we requested to make our own breakfasts and lunches and weekend dinners. I got really into chia bowls and started obsessively instagramming them:

Chia bowl

There are a lot of little amenities here. A housekeeper cleans the bedrooms — and the whole three-story historic house, really — every Friday. Visual artists get studios to work in; writers can pick from any of the three libraries in the house, like this one:

Anderson Center library

The libraries, of course, have books. I ended up reading a bunch of them:

Books at the Anderson Center

You can also write in the historic water tower; there’s a little room with a writing desk if you climb the 76 steps.

Water Tower at Anderson Center

For writing breaks, you can wander around the art gallery or outdoor sculpture garden:

Sculpture Garden at the Anderson Center

Bicycles are provided — but locks are not, because strangely, bikes don’t get stolen around here. A nice 20-mile bike path runs behind the center grounds. Little bunnies hang out there!

Bunny on bike path

Twice over the course of the month, we the residents were given picnic stuff and money to go have dinner at Pizza Farm, a farm that makes organic pizzas topped with very locally grown veggies on Tuesday nights. We stopped at Lake Pepin on the way back for a group selfie:

IMG_4184

Every resident’s asked to do some sort of one-time community service project during her stay. I was paired with the Hope Coalition, and gave a poetry writing workshop there! One woman cried. Poetry’s cathartic.

I was also interviewed by the Red Wing Republican Eagle:

Siel Ju in the Red Wing Republican Eagle

For the most part though, the days were very quiet, nondescript, and filled with writing. My schedule usually went like this: wake up, journal while drinking coffee, meditate, do my Tracy Anderson DVD, shower, drink a green smoothie (this is actually what I do with the first two hours of my day in LA too), then alternate writing 45 minutes with wasting time on Instagram or eating things for 15 minutes until dinner time at 6:30, when all the residents congregate to dine on whatever Chef Britton whipped up. After that, I mostly read.

Straight Man and green smoothie

My one warning for would-be residents here: Beware the mosquitoes!! They can’t get in the house because of the screens, but should you dare to go outside before 8 am or after 5 pm, you’ll get bitten up pretty badly, even if you douse yourself with the bug repellents the Center provides for you. I discovered the hard way that mosquitoes can and will bite you through workout tights!

I also do recommend bringing ear plugs, if you’re sensitive to noise like I am. Though Red Wing is a small town, the Anderson Center sits right by a major freeway on which loud trucks and motorcycles zoom by 24-7.

If you come here, you may find yourself bored at times. But that’s a good thing, if your aim is to write. There’s no TV here. There’s wifi, but it doesn’t reach all the bedrooms. Basically, unless you really enjoy shopping at Target (3 miles away and accessible by bike), there isn’t a whole lot to do here besides write! I saved so much time and money by not eating out and not shopping and not caring what I looked like!

Thanks to the calm space and time the Anderson Center provided, I’ve finished the first draft of my novel — and for that I’m very, very grateful. Chris Burawa, the Executive Director, and Jackie Anderson, the Office Relations Manager, are such kind and encouraging people.

Think you might want to do a residency here? The next application deadline is Feb. 1. In the meantime, let me know if you have any other questions about The Anderson Center residency experience —